Why I Booked a Boudoir Shoot for Myself
So a few weeks ago I was getting waxed...
TMI? maybe... but I'm about to show you my half naked boudoir photos so I guess I'll be an open book here.
I got to chatting with my wax girl about men, relationships, etc... and somehow boudoir got brought up and how she's been wanting to do a legit boudoir shoot for a while now.
I asked her why she wanted to do it, perhaps a gift for her boyfriend for Valentines Day?
She said, "no I'm single! I want to do it for myself. A confidence booster, you know?. We're only this young once!"
K pause.
1. We need to be friends.
2. I know the perfect photographer.
3. You just gave me that nudge I needed to do it as well.
I went on to tell her that 2 years ago I did a lifestyle photoshoot in LA with 2 super talented photographers, Michael Sasser and Mario Masitti . Michael was video'ing, Mario was shooting.
Side note: I'm obsessed with them both, instant friends.
Michael mentioned that he's a boudoir photographer and would love to do a boudoir shoot.
My initial reaction was: no.
Right? Wouldn't yours be too!?
I kept in touch with Michael over time, but always had an excuse for not wanting to do the boudoir shoot. "My body isn't where I want it to be, I can't have sexy photos of me online, I don't have anyone to give these photos to, I don't think I can pull these shots off, people will judge me, et ceteraaa.
We circled back around to each other after my wax girl inspired me (life works in really weird ways sometimes). We talked about making this shoot about self-love and acceptance. Doing this shoot for no-one else but yourself.
This is when I was on board.
Because here's the thing, I've also always struggled with worrying what people think of me.
... but I also like to challenge myself.
Logically I know no-ones opinion matters, but it doesn't change the fact that it's still an internal battle for me. If I dig a little deeper I know that worrying stems from a lack of confidence and ultimately a lack of self-love... and I think this is something we all struggle with to a certain extent. So it's important to talk about it.
I get asked a lot from young women about inner confidence, loving yourself, how to worry less about what people think. Before dishing advice I always give a little disclaimer that I, too, struggle with loving myself from time to time and I certainly don't have it all figured out.
Many of us try to put out this perfect persona via little square boxes on a social media app, but the truth is we are all flawed with our own set of insecurities .... but it's OK to be a work in progress!
We're human after all.
A few tips on self-love that I touch on in the video:
1. Don't compare
I like to say comparison is the cock-blocker of confidence (poetic, I know) and the core root of insecurity. We are all different!! Just because you don't look like that model in your Instagram feed doesn't mean you're not that much more beautiful in your own unique way.
You will always have qualities that someone else doesn't and visa versa. Good and bad. That's life!
2. Let go of what you cant control
Stop fixating on the parts of yourself that you have no control over! Those traits that you're born with are what make you YOU. If you can't control it, accept it as if you've chosen it for yourself, and let. it. go. Embrace it all.
3. Put yourself first
Surround yourself with people, places, experiences that make you feel good and happy. Make a fancy dinner for 1, go get your hair blown out, get into a fitness class you love, volunteer, pop champagne on a Wednesday, meditate, take a candle-lit bath, wear cute pajamas (or lingerie) to bed.... do random shit daily for no other reason but to feel good about yourself. Over time, you start to view yourself differently because you feel good. You start to believe in yourself.
__
Even though we have our internal battles, don't ever let them stop you from doing things that will help you grow as a person. You should actually force yourself into those situations as often as you possibly can.
"comfort zones are comforting but nothing ever grows there."
TRUTH. So many of us go about our lives with such a guard up and we don't even realize it. We're so set in our ways, in our cushy little comfort zones that we rarely put ourselves out there in the unknown to be vulnerable. To be uncomfortable. To grow.
Ask yourself, when's the last time you did something that scared you?
K how great is lingerie? Lingerie is my WEAKNESS. Weakness in that I love it so so much. There's something so simple and sexy and feminine about a little lace set... and don't feel like you need to be in a relationship to wear it! Why should feeling sexy and confident be exclusive to the validation of a significant other? Girlll, rock that sh*t for yourself.
A few of my favvsss that I wore during the shoot, and others that I simply own. All under $100. And yes you need the little pink satin romper.
At the end of the day, we all struggle with our insecurities and our own internal battles. We're all a work in progress and that's OK. But I can promise you this: the more you accept yourself, flaws and all, and let that inner confidence shine through... the more beautiful you'll be. :)
xx jen
p.s and huge thanks to Michael Sasser (and Mario Masitti) on an incredible shoot. I wouldn't have done it with anyone else!
